Thursday, September 4, 2008

I never even realized people don't do this!

So before the August wedding extravaganza began, I started to wonder if I was etiquette-ly allowed to participate in the bouquet toss. It's custom for all the single female guests to gather and throw some elbows in trying to catch the bouquet that the bride throws. If you catch it, you're the next to get married.

Since I'm engaged, and was for all three of my friends' weddings, I wondered if I was "ineligible" for the toss. It's a given that I'm getting married soon. So, as I do whenever I have a wedding-related question, I started surfing the blog world. The answer? It came from Always a Blogsmaid...

"The A: Well, the single girls on the dancefloor mightn't appreciate the extra set of hands out there, but technically, you're still eligible for competition! Truth be told, it's a fast fading custom and done more often as a funny "retro" thing than anything else, so I doubt anyone will ask you to leave the dancefloor. I'm so curious, how many of you ladies are going to do the toss?? I havent seen it at any of my client weddings in AGES, so I'm curious if its just falling out of fashion in the NYC. let me know!!!"

I was floored when I read this answer! FLOORED! I've never been to a wedding without a bouquet toss. I'd never even questioned whether or not I'd have one! Granted, I'm a "young" bride--I'll be 23 for the ceremony--so maybe I have more unmarried friends than most NYC brides. And "retro"? Again, I never realized it was such an "outdated" custom. I remember my aunt tossing the bouquet at her wedding in 1990. My grandmother and my older sister fought for it! And every wedding I've been to since then has featured the bride, usually just on the floor near the single girls, standing with her back to them and throwing a beautiful arrangement over her shoulders. At the second wedding of the season, the bride waited until she was on her way out the door before she tossed hers, but it was anything but an afterthought. Sure, some women are reluctant to join the throng of women vying for the bouquet, but for the most part, every single girl I know thinks it's fun, and if she doesn't she opts to not participate...

Am I the only one who's surprised by the de-mainstreaming of this silly custom?

(first image from wedding #2--a close-up of the toss bouquet. It was on display near the guest book, giving this floral piece double duty. Photo by yours truly.)
(second image from wedding #1. That's me getting hit in the face with the bouquet. I'm not very good at catching things...Photo by my married friend Kari, who had my camera for this moment.)


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