Friday, January 9, 2009



1) Tender Loving Care

2) The Learning Channel

3) T-Boz, Left Eye, Chilli

4) My future initials


Warning: embarrassing story.

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be TLC (yes, even long before I met B). My freshman year in college, my roommate and I scoured the college directory searching for men whose last name began with a "C" so they could be my dating prospects. Ok, I didn't end up dating anyone from that list, but I always jokingly thought it would be cool to have TLC as my initials (I go by my middle name, which begins with an "L" hence Love as my blogging name).

I'm a proud woman. I'm proud of my family and our name. My family is the third generation to own local grocery stores and the name of those stores includes our last name. My father is an elected official in our county and I am proud to share in my family name. I'm proud of what I've accomplished under my name.

Do I want to give all that up? I admit I have questioned what it means to take your husband's name and if that is something I'm willing to do. B has been very up front that it is important to him that I take his name since the beginning. I agreed, but as taking his name becomes a reality I admit I'm nervous.

In one of the most interesting responses to the name question, Carly Tennis said, "Nonetheless, to take your husband's name is also among your freedoms. You are absolutely free to make your own choice, and you cannot really make a bad choice because, either way, the important thing is that it is a free, conscious choice."

So I get to decide. After an insightful conversation with my boss (a pretty fab lady) and some soul searching of my own, I've decided I want to be TLC not only for my fiance, the cool monogram, or my future family, but for me. I decided that I want our marriage to symbolize a change in our relationship and our lives and taking his name is part of that for me.

It's not going to be easy. I had to realize that taking his name does not make me less a part of my family or associate me only with his, but it gives us a name to share. . . to make ours. It will be an adjustment not only to learn to write and answer to my new name, but to learn to live with all the changes. Even so, I've decided to be TLC for me.

Have you struggled with the "name question?" What helped you decide?


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