"If you want complete control...

"You'll have to take complete financial responsibility."

I'm sure every couple who has had someone other than themselves footing any or all of the bill for their wedding has heard this at least a hundred times. Chalk up Time #1 for Amore' & C tonight. The issue in question: Meeting with the Church's wedding coordinator for the first time.

C works at the church that he & I are getting married in. We've both grown up in this church, and we're excited to exchange vows there. Since C works there, he & I have decided that all things church-related (that is, scheduling, our reception location options, etc) will all fall to C. He's perfectly capable of handling such things, and, let's faces, he's got friends in High Places.

Enter the first meeting with the church's wedding coordinator. C & I opted not to hire a wedding coordinator, but the church has one on staff to make sure things go smoothly and to act as a liaison between the church and the couple. C & I have yet to meet with the coordinator due to scheduling. We have our first meeting with her tomorrow. I imagine that we'll talk about the ceremony, our big ideas, where we'll have the reception, if it's possible to have it at the church in the location we want, etc. Should be a short, casual, let's get started meeting.

Now, Enter MOB, stage right. MOB, C & I are all going to visit caterer #1 tomorrow. So MOB asks if she can come to the meeting with the coordinator. I tell her, as politely as I can, that C & I want our first meeting to be just with the two of us. Cue "If you want complete control..." line. Cue giant exasperated sigh from the bride-to-be (I've never called myself that before! I like it!)

In my head, we're not making any decisions tomorrow, so it's not even necessary for MOB to be there. We're just chatting about what we want, and I'd like to give C the chance to talk. He barely gets a word in edgewise with me around, and he's got a snowball's chance if MOB & I are both there. I'm not trying to deny her any decision-making. I'm not going to sign her up to pay for lots of things we can't afford. I just want my fiance' & my first meeting with the wedding coordinator to be something that we do together--and alone.

Mom just came into my room (I'm still living at home, or rather, living at home again, after being away for college for 4 years) and assured me that she's ok with C & I meeting with the coordinator by ourselves. I hope for all of us that she means it.

When was your first who's-paying-for-what tiff?

-Amoré