Monday, December 15, 2008

The Marriage Book

Soon after B and I began dating we knew we had something special. During our nightly conversations that lasted for hours we got to know a lot about one another, and frequently played "The Question Game," which really isn't a game at all--just a chance to ask all those questions you want of the other.

A few years earlier I had seen an Oprah show devoted to marriage and preparing for it. A frequent guest on Oprah is Dr. Robin Smith, who wrote Lies at the Altar: The Truth About Great Marriages. I wrote the title in my journal and knew that I would eventually use the book.

After B and I began dating, I quickly ordered the book and thought Lies at the Altar was a scary title for a guy I'd just started dating so we quickly re-named it "The Marriage Book." The book is about preparing you not only for marriage, but also for a serious relationship. It was great for us to read together at the beginning of our relationship and helped us see where we had common ground and where our differences lay.

I admit we skimmed lots in the first part of the book and didn't find that part as helpful for us, but the questions at the end make this book a must have for couples. The end of the book includes over 200 questions about well, everything! From pets to finances to sex to family this book covers nearly all the bases. The questions are divided into sections and the last question of each section asks if you have a you've ever had a relationship end because of __ issue.

I think all serious and/or engaged couples should have real talks about what they want out of their relationship, future, and marriage. This book does a great job of consolidating all those "must ask" questions and gives couples a great starting place.

Are there any books that have been especially helpful to you as you prepare for your marriage?


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